When do you know whether you are exploring, or if you have made up your mind?

I mean, I have blogged now for a year and this is my longest break between posts.

Why?

Because it is this very question that is flummoxing me. I started blogging wanting to write about personal development, charting my life change.

It has definitely been a journey. I started out wishing to quit my job, qualify for the Boston Marathon and to start my own business.

Those goals have not changed, but they are yet to be achieved. Some have even wax and waned throughout the past twelve months.

So, what have I achieved?

I have gained knowledge. For example, I completed my first marathon just prior to lockdown. I did not expect to meet the Boston Qualifying target. But I now know the training level I need to be at in order to attain the required qualifying time.

What else?

I learned that there are many dead ends, forks in the road and rivers to cross. I mean I was not long ago discussing my aims to explore the sustainability sector.

I still envisage this, but at present, it conflicts with my current priority of making the right investments to achieve financial independence.

The goal of financial independence has bubbled up, but it has always been there in the background. Behind all my goals, I know I need the time to train, to learn, to write and to explore.

In a way financial independence is the foundation that underpins my goals.

But be careful . . .

I need to be conscious that as I put life goals on the back burner and continue to work to invest in order to achieve financial independence that those goals do not end up evading my grasp.

I am already ten months past my original timeline to quit by job and take three months out to dedicate to marathon training and to figure out my next stage in life.

I fell into the trap of sequential thinking and fear of not being ready. In other words, I cannot do this until I have done that, but this has become more important, so I need to switch focus.

I flip flop my priorities, depending on current concerns.

For instance, take putting a pause on starting a business. In my mind this has conflicted with making the right investments to achieve financial independence.

Therefore, I have focused my time looking at what is the right investment vehicle for my money and also to continue working for the next six to twelve months in order to earn more to get more of a buffer.

I need a transition plan because my goals are clear, but my method it not:

• Qualify for Boston Marathon and be fit and healthy.
• Be Financially Free
• Start my own company
• Help Others and Society

The specificity is not there and that is why I have been very eager to narrow down when I find subjects or topics that interest me.

Also, it means I am very quick to switch horses. I need to be more patient and make sure I focus on pushing all goals forward, while still holding down my job for now.

This means what I need to do is focus on transition. In that transition, there will be forward steps, back steps and diversions, along with difficult decisions.

But transition also requires patience. In the past I have been thinking very consequentially, as in by this date – that is it, I am done. But my journey is a path of many small steps and I need to be patient and enjoy the moment.

I know, I have made peace to do six months at least in my current job. I need to enjoy the experience and be in the moment, as it a unique stage of my life. But equally, I need to make small steps so in six to twelve months I have moved in the right direction.

I can look back and see what I have done, not what I have talked about and what diversions I took.

The past twelve months have been about exploring direction, the next twelve months is about transition. It is this process of transition that I now need to enjoy. To continue to take small steps in the right direction.

In taking those steps I gain more knowledge and dispel fear. I can keep going forward with confidence.

Let’s see where this ride goes!