‘Friday I’m in Love’ a lyric that echoes within many of us, capturing that precipice between the end of the working week and the promise of what the weekend will hold. Friday is the eternal optimist able to deceive those of us making the reverse commute the next day on predawn roads with their sparsely dispersed brake lights.

The expectation of change bought about by finishing up the week is a cultural one. A collective consciousness able to free us of the limitations of our working environment. Giving us permission to reveal more of our individuality, to seek out new experiences and grow outside the confines of our cubicle.

This permission offers a choice. We can choose to exercise it, or it could be our lives have responsibilities beyond earning our salaries that govern our actions. However, the choice is there, providing us freedom to explore new possibilities.

The promise of change does not have to be whittled out of our paid endeavors to appreciate for a few hours before the tide of sleep washes it away. Everyday offers the possibility to act as our individual selves and explore our purpose in life. To set incremental goals on our path and with each failure, appreciate the new possibilities it offers.

The attitude we bring to our day job can hinder us in exploring our purpose in life. Similar to our Friday feeling we entertain thoughts of exploring a new book, taking that course or going to an art exhibition. However, quickly our thoughts turn to our responsibilities, and the time sync that a new activity will create in our lives giving rise to potential conflicts with family or work. The inner conflict conquers the excitement of newness and so the weekend is over before it began. We return to our fingerprinted encrusted laptops and trudge through until we entertain the next moment of inspiration.

Change is incremental and we have to give ourselves the freedom to explore. To go to that first meet-up group – ‘just to find out more’. But don’t look for perfection! As Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness suggest in their book ‘the passion paradox’ – finding your passion is not an exact fit, you have to work your way into it incrementally.

Give yourself freedom to explore a range of your Friday feelings. Don’t let excuses and alibis run around in your head hold you back. At this stage you are just figuring things out. Below are alibis you may be telling yourself. If you hear them, shake your head and press on!

• Not trying a class because of the cost involved if it became a long-term interest.
• Being afraid to try some freelance work in your area of interest because it may interfere with your day job.
• You cannot try both non-fiction and creative writing at the same time.
• Reading a book and not giving the advice a shot because it is not the right time.
• Not walking up to the girl sitting next to you in the red top because of concern of where it might lead.

Most of all, don’t let fear of criticism hold you back. As Napoleon Hill figured out all those years ago in ‘Think and Grow Rich’ this fear will rob you of your initiative, your power of imagination and ultimately you end up being another one of them with your individuality constrained until you hit the bar on a Friday night.

Ignoring the mental traps of alibis and fears of criticism you can date many hobbies. Until there is a connection and you entertain thoughts of settling down. This is the point to look at how to create a fit in your life providing the opportunity to improve your craft and benefit from the intrinsic rewards that it provides.

At this stage, you have invested in your hobby that is has a value to you. It can now stand up to comparison to other areas in your life. Look objectively at the time you commit to your job or analyze inefficiencies in your life and work out a structure for your passion to continue to grow.

Devoting more time will not only allow you to gain competence but also develops your power of autonomy, as you are now prioritizing what is important in your life. However, be observant that you don’t start to seek external validations for your newly acquired skills. This has the power to rob you of your enjoyment in your personal growth.

Mark Manson in his dating advice book ‘Models’ offers advice which translates beyond the world of relationships. He advises us to develop our non-neediness by opening up and being vulnerable with our flaws and not trying to impress others. This will give you the confidence to continually invest and enjoy the ups and downs that come with persevering to improve.

Discovering a hobby is like finding love, you can wait around for the love of your life to find you. Or you can be vulnerable and give yourself the freedom to meet new people without being highly invested. At some point you will find someone you wish to grow with, and you make the space to enjoy more time with them and go through the struggle of developing the right fit. As a result, you will grow, and your life will be better for it.

As Napoleon Hill said:

“Life is a draughts board, and the player opposite you is time. If you hesitate before moving, or neglect to move promptly, your draughts will be wiped off the board by time. You are playing against a partner who will not tolerate indecision”

Give yourself the freedom to date your Friday feelings before you have no Friday feelings left to play with.