Do you want to live your dreams?

Of course! You spend day after day thinking about becoming a digital nomad, no longer tied to a location, schedule or boss.

Ok, ask yourself. How much progress have you made to achieving this goal?

Does it amount to watching videos on the cost of living in Chiang Mai or Bali on YouTube?

Alternatively, have you experimented with ways you can earn money while you are on the road?

Recognize that YouTube is indulging your fantasies. Hustling to get your first digital marketing gig is taking an active step towards your dream.

Have you looked at the reasons behind what is motivating your dreams?

Is it to get away from the stress of your job, or a recent breakup?

Beware! You could be making a false tradeoff, comparing your current suffering with an idealized vision of your new life.

If you are stuck in this position, recognize life has given you an opportunity to learn an important lesson. Once solved, a life decision can come from a good place.

If you are experiencing a torturous time. Ask yourself is this permanent? Chances are by the time you are ready to pack your bags, the situation you were stressing about has resolved itself.

For instance, I was going through a busy period at work, regularly in the office past midnight, frequent travel and multiple projects with conflicting milestones.

Upon reflection, I found that all my pain was psychological, pitying myself that I had so many problems and blaming people for bringing them to my door.

Ray Dalio’s YouTube video helped put things in perspective. He likens time to a river carrying you inevitably downstream. On this path you will collide with rocks, debris, lurking alligators, whatever.

I realized, my energy was spent swimming against a current, I will never overcome. My course had been set, I needed to get on with the job and deal with problems, as and when they reared their head.

Just this small change in perspective. Transformed the way, I viewed my workload. I learned to enjoy the struggle and only concern myself with what was in my control.

I was a better and less emotional person as a result.

Remember when you are looking to make radical change ask, what are you avoiding? You are never going to run away from yourself. How you deal with problems will always follow you.

It is better to confront your issues now, rather than to escape them.

It is important you do this groundwork.  Especially as you get older because there is more invested in what you currently have. It should be about evolution and not about saying ‘so long’ to it all.

Deal with your current issues and trust you will arrive in time to the confluence in your own river. Free from emotion, you can make a considered decision about which tributary to paddle down.

Now that you have a handle on your problems. It is time to make your dreams a reality. By this I mean working out what reality is going to look like.

If you are in a relationship and want them as part of your journey, check their conception of this reality. See what is behind the headlines.

This is not romanticizing about that dream home. But calculating how much you would be paying for that experience.

Think about the sacrifices you will need to make. Having to eat home cooked rice and beans rather than taking that backpacking trip through South America.

Progress is messing and you are never going to perfect.

Several years ago, I was weighing up whether to take a job in Silicon Valley. I was realistic that I was putting my academic career on hold to go back into industry.

I also knew I would be walking into a high stress job needing to catch up for my years in academia. This would be out working already hardworking engineers.

However, my desire for experience overseas was life long and I recognized that this was my junction in the river, and I took it.

The stress, the need to outwork. These were things I did not communicate to my partner. I only shared the dream not the reality.

This was a huge mistake and our relationship suffered as a result.

Now that you have removed the rose-tinted glasses. Ask, do you still want the reality of your envisioned life?

I mean, after six months of making the resolve to purchase that house. Have you been saving aggressively for that deposit, or have the temptations been too difficult to resist for you to make the necessary sacrifices?

Often, you will find yourself somewhere in between. If so, don’t admonish yourself too much. Progress comes in fits and starts and I should now.

I have the dream to create a truly flexible lifestyle by developing income streams that are location independent. How I do this has gone through multiple iterations and I am far from there.

After each failure, I eventually find myself back at the drawing board developing my next idea.

Progress is slow, and it is and messy. However, with each iteration my ideas and my dream are more honed.

However, if after months and months progress is zero. You have to ask, at this point in time is this the right dream for you?

If it is the later then you need to go back to the drawing board and ask is this the right dream for you at this time?

Really ask yourself this hard question, because the chances are – as Mark Manson says, you have not found your favorite flavor of sh*t sandwich yet. A passion you are prepared to put the effort into and learn to love the process of working for it.

In each of these steps. You may find after addressing your issues that you are happy and fulfilled with your current life.

Alternatively, after rationally assessing a new reality you may find there are legitimate reasons to pursue this new path.

Finally, it may dawn on you that your dream remains just that because you haven’t made steps towards it, you were in love with the result not the process.

All these are ok.

The purpose is you have a process to make decisions about your dreams, rather than wasting your life on just one. You can then move on and develop other goals, repeating the process.

One day you will come to a fork in the river and you will be ready to paddle a new path, invested and prepared for whatever might come up.